What it Feels Like to be Flick


Now, I know what it feels like to be Flick.

He’s the kid who got his tongue stuck to a frozen flagpole in Christmas Story.

This morning, in the twenty-degree freeze of the morning, I went out to release the Kraken (i.e., chickens and ducks) from Coop Knox.

I also brought them a couple of buckets of warm water for their trough. If it’s not hot, it merely immediately freezes.

After pouring two buckets in to the 5 gallon poultry drinker, I noticed that the circular base was one big block of ice, preventing the fresh refill from seeping through.

What I usually do is turn the ring upside down to dump the frozen block before refilling the tank.

So, being that I had to take a ass-backwards strategy to remedy my mistake, I took a rock to chip and loosen the intervening glacier.

As it broke apart and the warm water broke through, I dug in with my bare fingers to release and extract the pieces.

Feeling the cold, I was desperate to return back into the house and so I grabbed the chain link fence, which you have to lift and move forward to get out.

That’s the moment I realized moisture, metal and skin don’t mix - or rather, mesh all too well, because my wet fingers instantly froze and stuck to the gate.

It took me a long half-second to realize my predicament, but then I ripped my hand off the pipe. Suddenly wide awake, I grabbed the buckets and scurried back inside to rinse my hands under warm water.